Thursday, February 28, 2008
freedom
So, Birdie decided to wean herself. I must admit, I wouldn't have caught on so soon to her signals had my sister not just gone through the process with my niece. Birdie had been becoming less interested in feeding over the last month. Then, one night she lost it, crying, inconsolable and sad. A suggested, out of complete desperation, that we give her a bottle. I got one ready for her and sure enough, Birdie took to it eagerly and went to sleep. Strange... she never liked the bottle until now. What can I conclude from this situation that will prevent further breakdowns? She WANTS the bottle... I can be freed from my nourishment role for her. Oh my. Oh yeah!
So, now I can schedule my life away from Birdie. Not that I really want to be anywhere else for all that long, but I can do it. It's like when my passport expired, I felt kinda locked down. I wasn't planning a trip, but if I wanted to go on one, I couldn't. Birdie gave me the passport to tfox-independence. She's been so great about the process too, very content to go with the bottle and never looking back, making my experience all-around positive.
I realize now that I haven't had my body to myself for 9 + 6 months = 15 months. It's strange to add that up between pregnancy and post-partum. Now I feel this overwhelming desire to get my fitness back to running-body (yes, my previous expressions of a return to running have been occuring rather infrequently - boo). I guess that's because running is for me and me alone. Odd, what I get excited about now, such as caffienated coffee, that full glass of wine, my old bras (which aren't necessarily that great but they're a hell of a lot better than the nursing bra for the past 6 months and the 'pregnancy-size' bra the 4 months before that), tops that I can wear again without considering how it will work away from home in a feeding situation, and of course, the assurance that I won't be ruining any more outings with the lovely 'spillage' that so often occurs as a breast-feeding mother.
Ah yes, me and my body, back together again. Hello, me.
So, now I can schedule my life away from Birdie. Not that I really want to be anywhere else for all that long, but I can do it. It's like when my passport expired, I felt kinda locked down. I wasn't planning a trip, but if I wanted to go on one, I couldn't. Birdie gave me the passport to tfox-independence. She's been so great about the process too, very content to go with the bottle and never looking back, making my experience all-around positive.
I realize now that I haven't had my body to myself for 9 + 6 months = 15 months. It's strange to add that up between pregnancy and post-partum. Now I feel this overwhelming desire to get my fitness back to running-body (yes, my previous expressions of a return to running have been occuring rather infrequently - boo). I guess that's because running is for me and me alone. Odd, what I get excited about now, such as caffienated coffee, that full glass of wine, my old bras (which aren't necessarily that great but they're a hell of a lot better than the nursing bra for the past 6 months and the 'pregnancy-size' bra the 4 months before that), tops that I can wear again without considering how it will work away from home in a feeding situation, and of course, the assurance that I won't be ruining any more outings with the lovely 'spillage' that so often occurs as a breast-feeding mother.
Ah yes, me and my body, back together again. Hello, me.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
jury duty
We've all seen the movies about criminal court cases and wondered is this how justice is exercised? Typical of most Hollywood movies in this genre, a jury selection is involved. This sort of scene typically shows that both the Crown and the defence want different jurors for very specific and opposing reasons.
Guess I'm going to find out how accurate or far from the truth these movies are... because I got my jury duty notice! While going through my mail, I looked suspiciously at the envelope from the Sherriff's office thinking, "What did I do?" When I opened the envelope and read the content, I loudly announced to A that I've been served my jury duty notice! He looked at me and realized immediately that I'm pretty excited about it.
Seriously, I am so interested to witness first-hand the court justice process in Canada. I am required to show up for jury duty in April for a criminal court case. Now that I've received my notice, I feel as though I'm a real citizen; that it's my turn to perform my civic responsibility.
You'll hear no groaning from me - I'm going to court!
Movies that I like about the law that show court scenes in order of most loved: To Kill a Mockingbird, Miracle on 34th Street, ALL Perry Mason episodes (TV), The Verdict, 12 Angry Men, Suspect and A Time to Kill.
PS: I liked the stamp above for the graphic, apologies that it's not Canadian. Boo.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
darn it
I'm currently reading history content for a course called Women and Work in Canada. I'm in a position right now in which I can just take electives, which is delicious. This course has been particularly insightful since I'm at home with Birdie 24/7.
The portion that I just completed described women who were working in factories, interestingly most of which were munitions manufacturing, and once the war ended they were expected by society to return to their homes and resume their roles as homemaker. You see, the culture at the time was of the mind that women were merely recruited to fill the gaping holes in the economy which men had left in order to join the war. To my surprise, after the war many women were more than happy to leave their paid work and return to their homes. Of course, some wanted to stay on and earn, particularly those whose financial situation had changed (widowed, estranged or disabled spouse). Nevertheless, society responded to the war's end by presenting women with a pat on the back and an urgent message 'to go home'.
As a current stay-at-home-mom, the reading for this course so far is cutting pretty close to my situation. I go between reading feminist articles and feeling like women at home should be paid to be there to reading objective statistical articles and reevaluating that those feminists really take things too far. Ultimately, it's been a very interesting collection of readings for me during this time in my life. I am very confident about my decision to be home for Birdie's first year. No doubt, I am facing a whole lot of questions with my imminent return to work both personally and professionally. And, as a result of this course, my reflective moments have most certainly been rich.
Oh, the movie poster, The Rainmaker... right.
The premise of the movies is that there is a family of three men and one woman, Lizzy (Katherine Hepburn), one of the men being her father the others her brothers. Lizzy is a spinster. She takes care of the house on the ranch and is a tough woman although deep down desires love and an escape from her situation. Lizzy had been sent away to another town to stay with family there and unfortunately returned without a beau. The men are convinced that Lizzy is no longer able to be pawned off for marriage. Their resignation about her situation devastes her spirit and infuriates her as well.
In the meantime, Starbuck (Burt Lancaster) is roaming the countryside, looking for desperate folks to belief in his claim that he can bring rain on the drought-ridden town.
Oh, the sherriff is single and is approached by the 3 men to come to dinner in a desperate attempt to set him up with Lizzy. Prior to the men swarming in on the sherriff, the sherriff tears his shirt accidentally and is reproached by his superior that he needs a wife. Sherriff isn't that cool about the comment and attempts to mend his own shirt when the 3 men enter his station. And, darn it... the men are convinced their hopes to hook up Lizzy with the sherriff aren't all that far off.
Anyway, Starbuck ends up at the ranch, inspires the family that living in dreams and hopes isn't all that bad in fact that it's good for you. The Sherriff, although initially turns down the invite to dinner, ends up at the ranch and coming onto Lizzy. Lizzy, initially repelled by Starbuck and his dreams ends up in his arms and comes alive to her wonderful femaleness. Starbuck, works on the rainmaking and... (well I won't tell you). And guess what? Lizzy gets a man to validate herself and put her to use!
Anyway, my apologies for the long recap but the premise of this film just got my emotions going crazy! A woman so desperate and a man so needy. Both caught up in a societal expectation of their roles and are messed up because of it!
Thank goodness for Starbuck, the hero, the rainmaker, the dreamer. The only character who is completely redeemed from my point of view. Why? Because he dreamed and dreamed and expected the most amazing things and above all else, was completely unconventional.
Friday, February 08, 2008
half way
Phew... we made it to six months! Birdie continues to be a bundle of sweetness, surprise, character and of course, joy!
A and I have been chatting about it, thinking has this six months gone by faster or slower than usual? I think we agree that it's just been six months, not fast or slow.
There are moments in the day that go in slow motion. Like sleepytime, those moments take long, slow minutes. That's okay though, sleepytime can be lovely... and occasionally disasterous. Being a very good sleeper, who knew it was so hard to put oneself to sleep? Ah, I still think of myself as a good sleeper although I wonder now, can I be that yet again? I chat with my sister, mom of 2 beauties, and learn over and over again that sleeping is not an element of that ever truly reflects the life one had prior to children. *not one but two big sighs*
The moments that go fast are the development moments. For example, when placed on her stomach, Birdie now scrunches her little legs beneath her and tries to move up and forward. Wow, that happened fast. Did she just get the hang of trying to sit on her own? No, didn't she just start eating veggie mush? No, didn't she just start noticing shadows? Those cumulative development spurts really zoom by.
Anyway, we've made it half way to a year now and although we often long for sleep we are so, so mushy and in love with our little Bird. Happy half way, IF.
