Thursday, February 28, 2008
freedom
So, Birdie decided to wean herself. I must admit, I wouldn't have caught on so soon to her signals had my sister not just gone through the process with my niece. Birdie had been becoming less interested in feeding over the last month. Then, one night she lost it, crying, inconsolable and sad. A suggested, out of complete desperation, that we give her a bottle. I got one ready for her and sure enough, Birdie took to it eagerly and went to sleep. Strange... she never liked the bottle until now. What can I conclude from this situation that will prevent further breakdowns? She WANTS the bottle... I can be freed from my nourishment role for her. Oh my. Oh yeah!
So, now I can schedule my life away from Birdie. Not that I really want to be anywhere else for all that long, but I can do it. It's like when my passport expired, I felt kinda locked down. I wasn't planning a trip, but if I wanted to go on one, I couldn't. Birdie gave me the passport to tfox-independence. She's been so great about the process too, very content to go with the bottle and never looking back, making my experience all-around positive.
I realize now that I haven't had my body to myself for 9 + 6 months = 15 months. It's strange to add that up between pregnancy and post-partum. Now I feel this overwhelming desire to get my fitness back to running-body (yes, my previous expressions of a return to running have been occuring rather infrequently - boo). I guess that's because running is for me and me alone. Odd, what I get excited about now, such as caffienated coffee, that full glass of wine, my old bras (which aren't necessarily that great but they're a hell of a lot better than the nursing bra for the past 6 months and the 'pregnancy-size' bra the 4 months before that), tops that I can wear again without considering how it will work away from home in a feeding situation, and of course, the assurance that I won't be ruining any more outings with the lovely 'spillage' that so often occurs as a breast-feeding mother.
Ah yes, me and my body, back together again. Hello, me.
So, now I can schedule my life away from Birdie. Not that I really want to be anywhere else for all that long, but I can do it. It's like when my passport expired, I felt kinda locked down. I wasn't planning a trip, but if I wanted to go on one, I couldn't. Birdie gave me the passport to tfox-independence. She's been so great about the process too, very content to go with the bottle and never looking back, making my experience all-around positive.
I realize now that I haven't had my body to myself for 9 + 6 months = 15 months. It's strange to add that up between pregnancy and post-partum. Now I feel this overwhelming desire to get my fitness back to running-body (yes, my previous expressions of a return to running have been occuring rather infrequently - boo). I guess that's because running is for me and me alone. Odd, what I get excited about now, such as caffienated coffee, that full glass of wine, my old bras (which aren't necessarily that great but they're a hell of a lot better than the nursing bra for the past 6 months and the 'pregnancy-size' bra the 4 months before that), tops that I can wear again without considering how it will work away from home in a feeding situation, and of course, the assurance that I won't be ruining any more outings with the lovely 'spillage' that so often occurs as a breast-feeding mother.
Ah yes, me and my body, back together again. Hello, me.
# posted by tfoxfan @ 4:18 PM 
Comments:
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Yay you! Welcome back - I'll join you in that celebration sometime this year. Right now Ezzie still owns my mojo.
Oh Esther... how you make me laugh. With every sentence you write, it brings back so many memories for me. Mind you, for me, it was by choice to end the nursing process, not necessity to keep the little one happy.
The nursing bras... oh what memories.... lest we forget! Freedom.... I say it again... freedom! Yeehaa!
May you enjoy your getting back to fitness regime (?) and may your wonderful memories of running once again, become reality. Happy trails...
Love ya!
Mom
The nursing bras... oh what memories.... lest we forget! Freedom.... I say it again... freedom! Yeehaa!
May you enjoy your getting back to fitness regime (?) and may your wonderful memories of running once again, become reality. Happy trails...
Love ya!
Mom
Tan, I must say, your endurance is admirable! With all of your kiddos!
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D, thanks for all the tips of when you went through this with Ella and Bree. And yes, it is lovely.
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Mom,
Actually, I would rather forget the bras, alas they are so useful.
Funny how I forgot to mention the freedom of sleeping more. Not necessarily more but more consecutively since A can help feed Birdie at night now. Yeah, that's real good.
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D, thanks for all the tips of when you went through this with Ella and Bree. And yes, it is lovely.
---
Mom,
Actually, I would rather forget the bras, alas they are so useful.
Funny how I forgot to mention the freedom of sleeping more. Not necessarily more but more consecutively since A can help feed Birdie at night now. Yeah, that's real good.
E - I find your comments on this fascinating! All my friends who are mothers hated the idea of giving the feeding up! To quote "it feels like they almost don't need me anymore". How funny I found this. My response was often "oh don't worry, they'll need you for another 18 years at least to support their wardrobe desires!" I'm glad you are embracing this and not showing that it is the end of the world - like most of the new mothers I know.
- Jaime
- Jaime
# posted by 
: 2:58 PM
: 2:58 PM
J,
I guess I felt like "If that's what she wants, why fight it?" Many people asked me when I told of Birdie's self-weaning, if I was ready. I guess I'm don't feel I need to ask myself that question when she's telling me she's ready.
I find it amazing that when I actually pay attention and listen to her, I feel like a fairly effective parent... which is a real treat in the scheme of things.
I don't know if I felt totally amazed and enamoured with the breast-feeding thing. I felt that it was natural and practical although not a huge identity thing. I've heard that many women feel that it is a huge identity part of becoming a mother, which I get but don't feel I'm totally relating to.
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I guess I felt like "If that's what she wants, why fight it?" Many people asked me when I told of Birdie's self-weaning, if I was ready. I guess I'm don't feel I need to ask myself that question when she's telling me she's ready.
I find it amazing that when I actually pay attention and listen to her, I feel like a fairly effective parent... which is a real treat in the scheme of things.
I don't know if I felt totally amazed and enamoured with the breast-feeding thing. I felt that it was natural and practical although not a huge identity thing. I've heard that many women feel that it is a huge identity part of becoming a mother, which I get but don't feel I'm totally relating to.
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