Locomotion

I would imagine that many of my oldest friends and family are dumbfounded my decision to purchase a home. In fact they have every right to think I'm overly sleep-deprived, a hypocrite or a self-righteous nutter. You see, I have held for many years - in fact decades - that debt is something to be avoided at all times. Let me carefully synopsize my position on debt...

I saw my parents lose everything they had worked towards from the gut-wrenching recession of the 80s. My parents built their dream home which was sold for far less than it was worth a mere year or two later. We subsequently moved into a rental *gasp* and drove an older car. My sister and I shared a bedroom for the first time. This was the real extent of our travesty although the emotional rollercoaster of starting over was very real. Interestingly, I was content with what we had after our collective losses. That said, I knew my parents had lost a good deal of confidence along with the stuff that accompanied our 'safe place'. As a young girl, I concluded that if owning and owing on stuff equaled disappointment and an erosion of contentedness, I might as well adjust my expectations regarding the ownership of things. I figured out and developed a sense over time that wealth didn't mean the amount of stuff one projected, rather the amount of happiness and experiences one had.

I began to make this into a religion of sorts - as many of my older friends know, I preached this pretty hard. I still believe this to a great extent... although my idealism has had a forcible reality check.

As I've mentioned several times in this blog, I love where we live. Our decisions over the past 3 years are indicative of settling into a home, a community. For example, the concept of having a child wasn't entertained until we found our home - meaning our neighbourhood. Birdie flapped into our home and after being a lump for a solid half-year, she started to stretch and explore and fly about. Watching her grow forced me to reconsider our living situation and ultimately, my anti-debt mantra. Birdie didn't make me buy a house. Birdie caused me to ask myself why I wasn't.

And then, our living situation became... to be kind, untenable. I realized how altered our lifestyle has become by choosing Bird. Travel will happen in our future, but for now... not much if at all. Dinners and movies and pub crawls don't happen in synchronisity with each other, and rarely independently... and results in more time at home.

Home.

Anyway, I haven't shoved my entire anti-debt conviction out the door but I have altered what the reality of it involves. I cannot live in the reality of my anti-debt mantra and be content. Isn't that the true measure of sincere conviction anyway?

I recently learned of a very anti-brand, anti-logo family who would rather purchase non-logoed clothing for their child than take free, unlimited hand-me-downs. I'm convinced that this is counterintuitive, counter-conviction. Where's the brand-stance in taking free, recycled and reused with logos clothes... hmmm? I struggle with that. I'm an idealist in many ways, but the realistic and logical part of me has to be reconciled with the convictions I hold.

My reality in purchasing this home is that autonomy in parenting and marriage is of utmost importance. Our life experience is what matters to me and so, I've accepted that this now involves owning a home. I'm okay with that.

And yeah, for those of you that heard me bitch and moan about debt in the past, you're allowed to tell me so... but know that I'm just evolving... locomoting in this experiment of life and the pursuit of happiness. Nuff said.

Since Fort Mac, I traveled to Kitimat and Calgary, packed up our place and signed mortgage papers. Yeah, I now have a mortgage. Strangely or not, I'm so happy.
Birdie has flapped her wings and landed... content and free as ever.