Locomotion

Opa died on December 30th. I miss him a lot. That won't go away, I guess. I see this picture of him with Birdie at 5 days old and my heart breaks with pride and sorrow. He had met her the day she was born, but this was the first time he held her. He was a jolly fellow although in general not a big smiler for photos. Um, yeah... this was an exception.

Yesterday, the family got together to plan the funeral. It was an authentic process. In fact, I'm really thankful to have been 'stuck' in a big house going through the process together all day long. The truth is that Opa was all about family and to remember, respect and discuss memories together about his life made sense all the while the great-grandgirls were playing dress-up, the cousins were playing fusball and air hockey and sleeping off their NY eve, and as usual, innumerable cups of stellar coffee were being brewed and consumed by all above the age of 15. Like Opa who was larger than life, his family bursts at the seems with grief, joy and pride all at the same time.

Opa was always a big fan of A and me having a child. He cheerleeded us on throughout our marriage that our kids would be the Most Beautiful, but that we should do what's right for us. It never came off as rude or that we disappointed him by not having a child; rather that it would be a shame for this world that such a beauty would not appear! Ha! When we told him the news of Birdie, he was beside himself with gushy happiness. But when she flapped into the world, he fell absolutely in love with her. In fact, I believe it was mutual. Birdie never fussed with Opa. She always calmed for him, or slept while he held her - and he had one big voice. He already loved me and A so much but when Birdie came on the scene he loved us even more (is that possible?).

Tomorrow I will say good bye - as his first grandchild who could be calmed by being laid on his giant belly, as an adult who enjoyed his visits at the coffeeshop I worked at where he often made friends with lonely customers, as a fan who eagerly listened to his stories and poorly recounted them to others, and as a parent who will sorely miss his influence in Birdie's life.

Love you too, Opa.