Locomotion

I travelled to New York for the first time in late August/early September. When A and I were there, we saw a fantastic show called Sweeney Todd. After that fantastic experience at the Eugene O'Neill Theatre, we made a decision to check out more live stage plays once we got home.

On Saturday, we saw a brilliant stage adaptation of the Douglas Coupland book Life After God. It showed at the classic Vancouver East Cultural Centre. The theatre chairs are red velvet with wood arms replete with battered, bronze name plates - to recognize financial contributors to the theatre - on the top of the seat. We scored great seats about 5 rows back from the front of the modern and boxy stage. The play was well-executed and extremely raw.

The story follows Scout, who is about my age, and opens the play with a compelling dilemma. Scout states that while growing up in North Vancouver, he and his friends had every need and want met and so, there was no need for God - meaning he grew up in a generation post-God. As a result, life was lived freely albeit aimless. Moved out of the house and on his own, Scout recognizes a deep void entreched deeply within himself. With the impending fifteen year reunion, Scout checks himself with the questions we all ask ourselves: Am I successful? Am I happy? What do I believe in? Who am I?. In all of that soul-searching, Scout ends up emotionally worn and with the conviction that without God, no love, compassion or conviction can exist within himself.

Life After God concisely addresses the issues that my generation is dealing with. It synopsizes the empty place in our heart that freedom has created. A spoiled generation we are, seeking individual desires at whim, almost above the Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs model. My grandparents and parents worked hard to provide me with this freedom, freedom that they longed for. I think it's my responsibility to step up to take the freedom we have to the next level - instead of living reactively as they were forced to, live proactively. I'm too fortunate to do otherwise. I think it's fair to say that it's my generation's responsibility to own the freedom with conviction and gratefulness. The alternative is to grapple with and accept the thought of the next generation of life after godlessness.

On Thursday night, I went to the k-os show. We purchased tickets days after hearing the delightful and innovative new CD Atlantis: Hymns for Disco. The show was at the Commodore Ballroom which nearly guarantees a good seat and a comfortable, intimate environment.

K-0s, a fellow Canucker, proved to be a humble performer often keeping his back to the audience and instead engaging his bandmates on in the tune. Along with his band, which is not what I had imagined included a bass (stand-up and guitar), electric guitar, a massive drum kit, bongo/percussion station, and a turntable; he lead a powerful performance. Of course, I was drawn to him but not because he demanded the attention.

I fell in love with K-os, again. The momentum that he creates oozes out to those that choose to participate. From jazz to blues to hip hop to rap to ska to soul to pop, I applaud b-boy K-os.

Ever run into a wall that you knew was there? A few years back, I ran into a wall, which I saw in the distance I was quickly approaching. Each day, the wall got closer and I thought, "There's that wall, I've got to stop and turn a corner." Finally, I hit the wall *smack*, got up and kept walking, like on the spot, in an attempt to climb the darn thing.

Yeah, I'm working a lot these days. That wall is my work. My tendency is to push the wall further away so that it takes longer to hit it. But, I always know I'm going to hit it.

For the first eight months of my current career, I felt I had a very solid work-life balancing act. In all honesty, I was so proud and confident that the concept of work-life unbalance amused me. I had this attitude that I could never be willingly squashed again by work. This was my post-India, pre-student, gleefully unemployed stage in life. *SIGH*

Nevertheless, I may have hit the wall. Again. I've been running quickly and feverishly towards it, actually. I don't quite know what to make of it all. Have I really lost focus of my desire to remain balanced with life and work? It's an interesting difficulty to have since I love the work I'm doing. Furthermore, I'm happy in my whole life. And, what was wanting the last time I hit the wall I fixed. To be clear, the last time I hit the wall I was lacking the clarity of personal interests and personal development. This time around, I don't have that additional frustration of craving self-discovery.

Having said all that (hopefully not-too-narcissistic) jazz, here is the real question:

Does loving what work you do trump doing other things you love? I struggle with this, since historically I was craving a conviction to what I did for work. Now I've found that and I'm at the wall, working like there is not enough time in the day to accomplish what I believe is essential.

Admittedly, I have obvious flaws in asking this question. I'm not running enough (running regularly, but not furiously as I prefer). I'm eating without a rhythm. I'm not seeing my friends nearly enough. I'm sacrificing A time. I'm sleeping restlessly. I'm studying well, but not quickly or efficiently enough. I'm off-kilter and without a clue.

In an exploration of the entire exercise... likely tbc (to be continued).