Sunday, July 27, 2008
expectation
If I haven't mentioned it already, life is really really demanding right now. A has a major contract to fulfill, which is essentially a full-time job, as well as his regular gig while I'm digging in on my new career position at a big company. It's been two months now and we've been scraping by with 5 minute quality moments. These quality moments are by far less than what I would honestly consider quantifiable by the word 'quality'. Sometimes, these moments are without words and simply snuggled in front of the tv in Birdie-ized clothes. Other times are when we talk in the bathroom together - one bathes and the other shaves while watching the monitor light steady-on (please, no blinking, please!).
For A's birthday, I decided that since I had no time to be thoughtful or actively pursue a real gift, I would consider giving an 'experience'. To accomplish this we would both have to compromise to make this gift happen - the gift being a weekend at Whistler so A could mountainbike ride while I hung out with Birdie. Along with the trip along Sea to Sky, we both had to get all our gear together, to leave on time from work and be okay to miss a weekend at home (which I must admit, I more often than not crave instead of activity). A had to commit to working twice as hard the next two weeks to make up for the lost work time on the weekend even though the trade-off was appealing. We made it happen, we made it work, we had a great time, we're still tired but very pleased.
Expectations of each experience we consider and engage has to be tempered. The 'what the hell' attitude has to be gauged against, 'are we nuts?' or 'are we being true to ourselves?' or 'are we making life too much work?'. On this occasion, we were being true. While on the weekend, we regularly had to remind ourselves of that, particularly when Birdie thought the only fun thing about the restaurant was crawling around the floor and eating... well, you can only imagine. That dinner got put in a take out carrier.
Now, we're heading to the Prairies on a trip for many reasons, most of which are well worth the effort. Sure, we've got to stop in Calgary for a meeting on Friday morning. Sure, we have to come home on different days to fulfil both work and family obligations. Sure, we've got to get ready for Birdie's one year party (k, that's actually really fun). Sure, we're tired - yep, still after one year. Sure, we're us... yeah, it's the new world we live it. Managing expectations of myself, my relationships and my abilities to do stuff is a constant mental effort. That being said, to live life - our life - without some element of risk, well now that would be a compromise.
For A's birthday, I decided that since I had no time to be thoughtful or actively pursue a real gift, I would consider giving an 'experience'. To accomplish this we would both have to compromise to make this gift happen - the gift being a weekend at Whistler so A could mountainbike ride while I hung out with Birdie. Along with the trip along Sea to Sky, we both had to get all our gear together, to leave on time from work and be okay to miss a weekend at home (which I must admit, I more often than not crave instead of activity). A had to commit to working twice as hard the next two weeks to make up for the lost work time on the weekend even though the trade-off was appealing. We made it happen, we made it work, we had a great time, we're still tired but very pleased.
Expectations of each experience we consider and engage has to be tempered. The 'what the hell' attitude has to be gauged against, 'are we nuts?' or 'are we being true to ourselves?' or 'are we making life too much work?'. On this occasion, we were being true. While on the weekend, we regularly had to remind ourselves of that, particularly when Birdie thought the only fun thing about the restaurant was crawling around the floor and eating... well, you can only imagine. That dinner got put in a take out carrier.
Now, we're heading to the Prairies on a trip for many reasons, most of which are well worth the effort. Sure, we've got to stop in Calgary for a meeting on Friday morning. Sure, we have to come home on different days to fulfil both work and family obligations. Sure, we've got to get ready for Birdie's one year party (k, that's actually really fun). Sure, we're tired - yep, still after one year. Sure, we're us... yeah, it's the new world we live it. Managing expectations of myself, my relationships and my abilities to do stuff is a constant mental effort. That being said, to live life - our life - without some element of risk, well now that would be a compromise.
# posted by tfoxfan @ 9:32 PM 
