Locomotion

Two days ago, the fog lifted from our home. Birdie is no longer fighting us and we're no longer cursing our parenting status. What happened, you ask?

A and I sat down, completely drained, haggard, sad and frustrated and talked and talked. We analyzed all the self-help books we read (four or five?), analyzed Birdie's consistent stumbling points to going to sleep and rummaged through the not-dead-yet parts of our minds to find a way out of this thick fog. We opted to toss all of what we added to our 'system' of sleep (mostly gathered from self-help books) and simplified what we used to do to put Birdie to sleep and then see how things transpired. Of course, all of this in consideration with what clues she's leaving for us to pick up on during the go-to-sleep process. All of that said, we've got our Bird back and the bedraggled nest is on the mend.

PHEW!

So, maybe this book tells me I'm not teaching my baby how to self-soothe. While another tells me that I'm not committed enough to the teaching of sleep to my baby and she'll resultantly always have a sleep disorder. While another book tells me that I'm in this boat with other parents and they have found success to a sleep-easy or no-cry solution to put their baby to sleep. Well, I have too, I've self helped myself to tossing all the ideas and following my heart. If Birdie wants to be with me when she goes to sleep, okay. If Birdie wants to be sung to, that is sweet. She's a baby. She's needs us.

I'm telling ya, I sure won't go back to that look she gave me (oh how it makes my heart shudder to think about), mid-schnook, during those tough sleep times of "What are you doing? I'm sad about this situation. Can't we just be us?"

Yes, please. *SIGH*