Friday, June 01, 2007

 
In between reading stuff about pregnancy, birth and post-baby life, I'm having a delightful time crossing off books from my list of what I've been wanting to read for several years. Miriam Toews' a complicated kindness is a book that I gobbled up during our Europe trip (specifically on our train tour - hey, I had the time).

I laughed out loud regularly while reading Toews' coming-of-age novel which insightfully explores growing up Mennonite in a small, prairie town. Although I didn't grow up in a small town, I can definitely relate to the Menno-isms captured by Toews since I am, in fact, a Mennonite gal. Toews captured the Breakfast Club richness of teen angst and meshed it together with my own reality of growing up Mennonite. To set the tone, here's an excerpt early on in the book:

"We're Mennonites. As far as I know, we are the most embarrrassing sub-sect of people to belong to if you're a teenager. Five hundred years ago in Europe a man named Menno Simons set off to do his own peculiar religious thing and he and his followers were beaten up and killed or forced to conform all over Holland, Poland and Russion until they, at least some of them, finally landed right here where I sit... Others ran away to a giant dust bowl called the Chaco, in Parauay, the hottest place in the world. ... Imagine the least well-adjusted kid in your school starting a breakaway clique of people whose manifesto includes a ban on the media, dancing, smoking, temperate climates, movies, drinking, rock 'n' roll, having sex for fun, swimming, makeup, jewellery, playing pool, going to cities, or staying up past nine o'clock. That was Menno all over. Thanks a lot, Menno. There's also something annoying about a man who believes in complete humility naming a group of people after himself. And using his first name. "

I must admit I always thought it odd that the faith wasn't called Simonite vs. Mennonite.

While reading the book, I contemplated how I was raised and identified which values and Mennonite-based principles I felt I would share with my child. Although I have distanced myself from the 'religion' of Mennonites, there are certain aspects of being Mennonite that I identify with still culturally or via my heritage.

An example of this is that I am a pacifist.

Another example of Menno-me is that I believe that meeting a person's present physical need is essential in order to address or even contemplate a spiritual need.

Alternatively, I rail against the well-captured synopsis made by Toews of the angry God or the intolerant God. I was raised on the angry God, which included horrific B-movies which depicted being left behind on earth while family and friends were swept away to heaven.

a complicated kindness triggered interesting emotions for me and caused me to ponder the approach I'll take to raising my little Mennonite.

Comments:
I can't believe we didn't get a chance to discuss this when you guys were out -- such a great platform for conversation about our shared past. I guess we kinda covered the basics way back when in the hot tub on the Apex trip, but you hadn't read it yet at that point.

I was reminded of Lesa's review (where I chose part of the same hilarious quote you did) and some of my own subsequent musings about lost and found connections to my Menno past.

Was your last line mostly tongue-in-cheek, or do you really feel like your little one will have some identity connected to being Mennonite?
 
J,

I know... there were a few things, this being one of them, that we all didn't even broach.

I do feel like the babe will have some Menno identity. It's undoubtedly part of our heritage. And, that's not just because of the food that the kid will inevitably be exposed to (and fall in love with), but also the great-grandparents' (and grandparents') tales about life including immigration, hardship and triumph.

There are several connections to being Mennonite that make me me. Some of these connections I mentioned briefly in the post although there are others. Another item I can think of that I believe is a Menno trait or value is that material items are not to be desired, envied and especially not hoarded. I do identify with this value quite strongly, in fact, and feel that although it may not have been deeply entrenched in all of the biblical teachings of my youth, it is a value I hold. I'm sure there are others I could delve into...
 
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