Sunday, February 11, 2007
Oh, hello again blog...
Of late, my life has taken on new momentum. What's happened is I have officially become a science experiment. Haha, actually... I'm pregnant. Just over four months, in fact. Being pregnant is amusing to me on so many levels. Why amusing? I guess because it has to be funny because the reality of it is too shocking. Let me clarify, we were not shocked by the news, rather it is so real that it's happening and that can be, quite frankly, simply overwhelming.
My body is remarkably adapting. I am in awe of its ability to move and change. The noticeable 'side' effects are distracting while seamless somehow. My shape is ever-awkward and yet completely natural. Pregnancy is sort of like a contradiction. For example, I feel healthy but off balance. I am joyful while quietly mourning my complete autonomy. I'm busy in my head with things to do and deliberately not doing them because that would seem very real. I'm amused by the changes going on within (and out of) me while annoyed by my obvious disproportionateness not to mention the duration of this process. Maybe pregnancy is less of a condradiction and more of an oxymoron. Like I recall from English 11 while reading Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet that love is like 'sweet sorrow'.
And so, my pontifications from hereonin may reflect that of a physically unbalanced while emotionally checked woman in the pursuit of lifestyle locomotion.
Of late, my life has taken on new momentum. What's happened is I have officially become a science experiment. Haha, actually... I'm pregnant. Just over four months, in fact. Being pregnant is amusing to me on so many levels. Why amusing? I guess because it has to be funny because the reality of it is too shocking. Let me clarify, we were not shocked by the news, rather it is so real that it's happening and that can be, quite frankly, simply overwhelming.
My body is remarkably adapting. I am in awe of its ability to move and change. The noticeable 'side' effects are distracting while seamless somehow. My shape is ever-awkward and yet completely natural. Pregnancy is sort of like a contradiction. For example, I feel healthy but off balance. I am joyful while quietly mourning my complete autonomy. I'm busy in my head with things to do and deliberately not doing them because that would seem very real. I'm amused by the changes going on within (and out of) me while annoyed by my obvious disproportionateness not to mention the duration of this process. Maybe pregnancy is less of a condradiction and more of an oxymoron. Like I recall from English 11 while reading Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet that love is like 'sweet sorrow'.
And so, my pontifications from hereonin may reflect that of a physically unbalanced while emotionally checked woman in the pursuit of lifestyle locomotion.
# posted by tfoxfan @ 6:21 PM 
Comments:
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HA haha...great post, Esther. Such an odd upside-down time, but like you say, so natural in some weird sense. Glad to hear it's been going well for you so far.
J,
I can't believe you posted on my recently-revived blog within 10 hours of this post. Hilarious.
I think your post on Tan and her picture post of coming out inspired me to get back in blogland. Still blows my mind that we're in this together.
I can't believe you posted on my recently-revived blog within 10 hours of this post. Hilarious.
I think your post on Tan and her picture post of coming out inspired me to get back in blogland. Still blows my mind that we're in this together.
Well, I'm a loyal subscriber! And I'm online all freakin' day, so I notice when something new pops up.
Total mind-blower. Three years ago I would have said that you guys weren't going to have kids at all and that we were 99% sure we were done. Yet here we are.
Total mind-blower. Three years ago I would have said that you guys weren't going to have kids at all and that we were 99% sure we were done. Yet here we are.
Sorry, I realized (too late) that I used your name in that first comment, and you've been pretty anonymous here. Please feel free to delete it (and this).
Jer,
No worries about the name. You know, this question about kids has been brewing for a while, but no real agreement to jump in until we moved to our place here. Then, the settled and content feeling began - which was new - and from there new decisions formed. It's amazing how important it is to love where you live in order to commit to decisions. That's my latest learning in this process.
No worries about the name. You know, this question about kids has been brewing for a while, but no real agreement to jump in until we moved to our place here. Then, the settled and content feeling began - which was new - and from there new decisions formed. It's amazing how important it is to love where you live in order to commit to decisions. That's my latest learning in this process.
T,
We'll be each other's sounding board, that's for sure!
Thanks for being so vigilant to check in with me. I really enjoy it.
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We'll be each other's sounding board, that's for sure!
Thanks for being so vigilant to check in with me. I really enjoy it.
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